How Much Does a Marriage Cost?

How Much Does a Marriage Cost?

Several years ago, an article crossed my desk titled, “Most Costly Celebrity Divorces.” Normally, I would ignore an article like that, but curiosity got the best of me. The article was nothing more than an article about the divorce settlement in terms of money. The article never discussed the “cost of divorce” without terms of money. Divorce costs lives, relationships and more.

Marriage is more costly than money. A great marriage is an investment, not only in your future, but for future generations. A bad marriage is a costly expense, not only in your life, but in the lives of future generations.

Your marriage not only affects you, but it influences your children on the type of marriage they will have. As the Bible says, our lights will shine for others to see.  (Matthew 5.14-16) We provide an example to others regarding marriage. If we speak harsh about marriage, others will see it as harsh. If we speak well of marriage, others will see it differently than before.

How to Improve the Value of Marriage:

  • Value Marriage – To improve the value of marriage, you must value marriage. The Bible places a high value on marriage as it uses it as an illustration of Christ and the church. (See Ephesians 5.22-33)
  • Work on Your Marriage – Marriage takes work. Some people believe that once the wedding is over it is all happily ever after. Instead, marriage takes work. Submission takes work. Responsibility takes work. (See Ephesians 5.22-33)
  • Believe the 100/100 truth – The typical saying is that marriage is 50/50, but the truth is that marriage is 100/100. When two people enter a relationship and only give 50%, there will be problems. When two people enter marriage giving 100%, they will become one flesh and grow their marriage.

Just a thought,

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Simple Tips for Marriage Enhancement

Simple Tips for Marriage Enhancement

Schedule Time for Each Other –In the midst of a hurried and mobile society it may seem like an exaggeration to schedule time for your marriage, but consider it for a moment. Many of us are so highly involved in our careers, our children’s school, church activities, coaching sports teams, working out, running and reading we might not have time for our marriages. Well, it is time to make time. Schedule a date night with your spouse or even some time to grab a cup of coffee. Make Time!

Pray for Each Other – You might already do this, but evaluate your prayer life. Stop praying about how God should change your spouse for your benefit and pray that God will change you both for His benefit!

Stop Using the Word “I” – Try an experiment, when you are discussing your marriage, stop using the word “I.” (You may only use the word “I” when you are describing the mistake or fault you have.) Instead of “I” use the word “we”.” This simple change creates an encouragement and unity to build your marriage.

Have a Devotional Together – A devotional does not have to be a theological discussion of the variants of the Greek text; it may be a time where you read a passage and discuss what it means in your relationship.

As I give these tips, I leave out the things I take for granted:

  • Telling your spouse you love them
  • Hugging and kissing your spouse
  • Going to Worship with your spouse

I give these tips in addition to what you do as a couple. Finding time and using that time to grow closer together is a quality many couples talk about, but they are only done when the bottom begins to fall out.

Commit today to strengthen your marriage!

Just some thoughts,

A Happiness That Lasts

A Happiness That Lasts

The Wall Street Journal reported on a study published in the December 2017 Journal of Happiness Studies and suggested “getting married is one of the best ways to cement a couple’s long-term happiness.”

Using research spanning the past two decades and more than 300,000 people, the study sought to discover if marriage causes happiness or if happy people are more likely to get married and stay that way.  The simple conclusion is “a close marital bond spurs long-term happiness.”

The Wall Street Journal reporter noted, “That level of commitment, formalized by a ritual and a legal document, may be one reason why the advantages of marriage trump those of just living together.”  The article was appropriately titled, “For Happiness That Lasts, Take Those Vows.”

The Bible speaks of the marriage commitment in Genesis 2.24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The commitment to the husband (man) and wife (woman) are to each other. Their unity is a oneness bound by God.  Mark 10.9 shows the firmness of the marriage bond with God’s actions, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

While the marriage is joined through God’s actions, there are still actions involved in the lives of the husband and wife. Paul speaks of these two actions (love and submissiveness) in Ephesians 5.22-33.

The two components Paul mentions are shown to be as strong as Christ’s love for the church. The happiness that we have as Christians is based on long-term significance. Happiness in marriage is founded on the long-term commitment as well.

Just some thoughts,

 

 

Source: WJS, 1/27/18

How Much Does a Marriage Cost?

Marriage Planning or Wedding Planning

Every year, promises are made for the betterment of lives. People promise themselves everything from weight loss, job promotions, better health, quit smoking, quit eating sweets and a host of other promises for each area of life, but how many people are going to resolve to have a stronger, better marriage?

Please understand that just because you spend time improving your marriage, does not mean you have a bad marriage, it means you want to have a better one.

Too many people see others reading a book on marriage and assume they are having trouble, that is not always the case. There are some who want to improve their marriage each day so they can have the marriage God intended – one which serves each other and glorifies Him!

Many present-day marriages seem to struggle because people are spending more time planning the wedding than planning the marriage. Our society blasts the pictures of “fairy tale” weddings to our girls from the moment they can play house. Everything from music, the internet, advertising, and television informs our young ladies they need to have the biggest, longest and prettiest dress in town or their wedding will not bring the promised blessing of a beautiful wedding. Along with the dress, there must be a buffet of steak, lobster, and salmon, with at least 500 guests or the wedding cannot work. These images are destined to bring problems into marriages because the focus is on the one-day event, not the lifetime commitment.

I mean, have you seen the “Say Yes to the Dress” and the other shows? Crazy!

The thoughts go both ways as well. While many times the wedding is a lady thing, the honeymoon is usually thought of as a guy thing. Pictures of the honeymoon of a lifetime, with much chandelier swinging and never leaving the room, fill the stories and dreams of men as they approach their wedding. (Yes, ladies, it is what men dream of.)

Trust me, I am no marriage guru, but I would like to offer you a couple “Tips to Improve your Marriage” along with several of my favorite books on marriage. I hope you will seek to strengthen your marriage this year.

Tips to Improve Your Marriage:

Schedule Time for Each Other –In the midst of a hurried and mobile society it may seem like an exaggeration to schedule time for your marriage, but consider it for a moment. Many of us are so highly involved in our careers, our children’s school, church activities, coaching sports teams, working out, running and reading we might not have time for our marriages. Well, it is time to make time. Schedule a date night with your spouse or even some time to grab a cup of coffee. Make Time!

Pray for Each Other – You might already do this, but evaluate your prayer life. Stop praying about how God should change your spouse for your benefit and pray that God will change you both for His benefit! Do not pray about your spouse, pray for your spouse.

Stop Using the Word “I” – Try an experiment, when you are discussing your marriage, stop using the word “I.” (You may only use the word “I” when you are describing the mistake or fault you have.) Instead of “I” use the word “we”.” This simple change creates an encouragement and unity to build your marriage. Be sure when you use the word, “we” you are actually taking action together.

Have a Devotional Together – A devotional does not have to be a theological discussion of the variants of the Greek text; it may be a time where you read a passage and discuss what it means in your relationship. I have listed some marriage devotional books below. Give them a try and see how you can grow.

As I give these tips, I leave out the things I take for granted:

Telling your spouse you love them

Hugging and kissing your spouse

Going to worship with your spouse

and many more.

I give these tips in addition to what you do as a couple. Finding time and using that time to grow closer together is a quality many couples talk about, but they are only done when the bottom begins to fall out. Commit today to strengthen your marriage!

Here are some of my favorite books on marriage, outside of the Bible of course.

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Just my thoughts,