Who is Filling Your Cup?

Dear Friends,

Several years ago, I introduced a concept that I have diligently followed for the past three years. It is a rewarding idea with a promising future. Recently, I have found myself revisiting this concept.

Last night, during a meeting with an online men’s group I am part of, I shared this concept and its history. Today, I want to revisit it once more in hopes that it might assist you in making better decisions today for a brighter future.

I have refined the original words for better flow, but the essence remains unchanged from when I first wrote it.

Here it is…

Who is Filling Your Cup?

A few weeks ago, I found myself at a table surrounded by entrepreneurs, discussing future plans, business development, and the role of divine design in our lives. It was a captivating conversation that I keep revisiting.

Midway through that Thursday afternoon, a particular discussion stopped me in my tracks. We were talking about providing value to others through our abilities and knowledge when someone said, “You cannot give from an empty cup.” That statement hit me hard.

For the next 15 minutes, I was lost in thought, realizing that my family and I had been giving so much without ever considering how to refill our own cups. I understood then that I had been giving from an “almost empty” or empty cup for years.

In 25 years of ministry, my family and I have given from our cup, spending little time allowing it to be filled. We have exhausted ourselves, our funds, and countless moments, always trying to do our best, but often giving from an empty cup.

Not to sound boastful, but over the years, we have emptied accounts, sacrificed family moments, endured sleepless nights, shed countless tears, welcomed individuals into our home, and opened our lives to others. We pressed forward even when it felt like pushing a dump truck. While we are grateful for these moments, I now realize we were draining our cup without refilling it.

It’s time to rethink the process and ask, “Who is filling your cup?”

This question will be a guiding principle in my life for the next few years. It’s not a fleeting thought but a principle to live by. If we, as designed individuals, are not living our best moments, we need to ask, “Who is filling our cup?”

I find myself questioning various aspects of life but also finding hope for the future. The past is behind us for a reason. We can learn from it but not live in it. It’s our moment to grow, but we must ask, “Who is filling your cup?”

I’ve realized there are things that don’t fill my cup. I will slowly remove them from my activities, routines, and life. It’s an opportunity to fill the cup instead of draining it.

I believe every person is uniquely designed and given a set of abilities that blend with their personality to serve others. This service will grow when we understand our design, abilities, personality, and purpose.

In the next season of life, this will be an ongoing process. Rediscovering purpose, allowing the cup to be filled, giving to others, and then refilling the cup again. The journey will be blessed, and the upcoming season of life will be the best one yet.

Future hope is gained by realizing the power of the present. This power is not mine alone but one greater than I can fully comprehend. As the ancient text says, you need to wait before you can walk, run, or even fly (Isaiah 40:31).

William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” It’s time we, I specifically, realize the opportunities are ready. The harvest is bright, and the time to live in the hope of a greater day is now.

In the past few weeks since that Thursday afternoon, I have tried to fill my cup while allowing the greatest One to fill it more. Though my efforts are earthly, there is One who is gladly filling my cup. My efforts still count because they speak of faith, hope, and eventually love.

As Earl Nightingale quoted Grove Patterson, “The architect of the universe did not build a stairway leading nowhere.” We must make efforts to show our faith, hope, and love.

To this end, I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to ask, “Who is filling your cup?”

As I continue to ponder this question, I understand that there is good and bad in everything. There are positive and negative attributes to be understood. But “Who is filling your cup?”

For me, I am making plans as my cup is being filled to get back to my purpose. To get back to the thought of, “Would my younger self be happy with who I am today?” Remembering the roots but pressing forward.

For today, these are my wonderings.

So, “Who is filling your cup?”

Where do I go from here?

The future is exciting for me. I am thrilled to give from a full cup again. I am delighted to have my eyes opened and my spirit renewed. I look forward to the opportunities to serve, not from obligation, but out of faith, hope, and love.

The future is bright.

The present is powerful.

Lives will be changed.

It is time to let our cups be filled.

Just some thoughts.

Thanks for listening.

And, as always, thanks for being my friend.

A Dying Man’s Wish

Greetings friends,

This is from a chapter for the upcoming book, “Behind Parsonage Doors.” Take a moment and give it a read. I would love to hear your comments.

Summary: A dying man called a preacher and asked him to visit him in the hospital. He was a man who had left the church and was ready to repent. He was a prodigal son, and he was ready to come home. He had made mistakes and was ready to come back. He was ready to forgive. He was in a much better place. He encouraged his family to go to church and to make things right with God. He passed away a few days later.

A Dying Man’s Wish

It was a normal day when the phone rang.

I was in the office that morning working on a few details for a lesson I was going to present. When the phone rang, I looked at the caller ID and did not recognize the number. Normally, I would have let it go to voicemail, but this time I answered it. This would be a phone call; I am glad I never let ring. It would be a moment I never expected.

The voice at the other end of the phone was raspy but powerful. The man asked if I was a minster and if I had time to see him in the hospital. I told him to give me a few moments and I would be down to see him once I got some things ready. I walked to the house and told Carrie I had to make a visit, but I would be home in a little while. The visit, I told her, would not be long. It was someone in the hospital wanting to talk.

Driving to the hospital, I wondered where this discussion would go. At that point in my ministry, I had several of those calls, and each one was different. Throughout my studies in school, there were worksheets, books, and lectures dealing with this subject, but nothing would prepare you for the actual events. Every situation was always different.

Arriving at the hospital, I made my way down the short hallway to the man’s room. Entering the room, I knocked on the door and he invited me in. After a few moments of the usual hospitality, the discussion changed.

“I need to repent.” He said.

Shocked by his four words, I took a breath. I had been in this position before, but his words rang deeper than others. He could not look at me. He looked forward when he said those words. After saying them and taking a breath, he gradually turned his head and looked at me. He was not crying, but he wanted to. The look on his face is in my memory to this day.

He was sorrowful.

He was ready to repent.

He knew what he needed to do.

He was a dying man.

It is interesting how death brings something out that remains hidden for years. The thought of leaving this Earth is not for the faint of heart. The emotions it can stir in one’s soul run deep and vast. It opens the thoughts of life, mistakes in the past, choices made, and forgiveness needed. This man was going through those emotions, as his doctors had told him it would not be long before he took his final breath. The end was near.

The brief visit turned into a lengthy one. We talked about his upbringing in the church and how he left the church. He was a prodigal son. The story of Luke 15 is a challenging reminder of how the troubles of life bring renewed thoughts. As the prodigal son, a Jewish man, sat and desire to eat the same food as the pigs, his eyes were opened. He would have to swallow his pride before he got up to walk home. His pride kept him from staying at home. It was pride in his own knowledge and in his own choices that caused him to leave home. Now, he would have to lay his pride down. He was ready. He was willing.

Eventually, the young prodigal son of Luke 15 went home.

The older man talking to me that day was ready to go home. He had realized the harm of his mistakes. He had realized his choices pulled him away from God. He was ready to come home, but first, he needed to swallow his own pride. He told me of his early childhood in church. He told me of the influence of his parents taking him to church. He knew those times in his life were good times. He spoke to me of his baptism in his teenage years. He spoke of being washed in the blood and how his life was going well.

The more we talked, the more he spoke of his family. I learned about his family history and his current family problems. As he sat alone in that hospital room, the family did not come to see him. In fact, they did not know what time he had left. After his wife died, things were different. As we talked, the older man calmed. His anxiousness at asking a preacher to pray for him at the beginning had subsided. Now, we were friends.

Having spoken about his family, he turned back to what he wanted… forgiveness.

About this time in my ministry, I had been in a situation like this many times, but this older man was as blunt as they came. He had not been to church in years, but he remembered the Bible. He would not leave this hospital to attend services again, because his life was almost over.

So, what do you do?

How do you respond to a man who wants God’s forgiveness when knows his breaths are going to stop in the next few days?

What did I do? I prayed.

We spoke of God’s love and mercy when we acknowledge our mistakes. We spoke of God’s grace when we spoke of our rebellions. We spoke of God. When we prayed, I spoke the words, but he followed along. When I was done, my eyes opened, and I looked at him. His eyes were still closed. He was concentrating. He had lived a hard life (by choice and consequence) and now he had found forgiveness once again.

After a little while longer, he said he needed to get some rest. When I left, I paused at the door and turned back. His eyes were already closed, but what I noticed more was the anxiousness that had left his body. He was no longer anxious about leaving this world to meet his Creator, but he was at peace.

The next few days that I came to visit, he was in better spirits and joyful. His voice was still powerful, yet joy replaced the nervousness. Physically, he was not healed. He was still dying. But spiritually, he was in a much better place. I was there on and off for the next few days, and I was even there when I got to meet his family. I met his son, his daughter-in-law, and his grandchildren. Finally, they realized the situation they were not expecting. However, when I met them, I was introduced as “the preacher.”

I spent hours in those days talking with him and with them about life and listening to their stories. But in the middle of it all, the older man told them of my discussion with him. He told them he had made amends with God, and he was forgiven. He shared his spiritual difficulties. He told them he was sorry. He encouraged them to go to church, to make things right with God, and to live a life he knew was the one that really mattered. His dying body was spiritually new. The teaching he had hidden for years was now made known to them.

A few days after my first visit, the older man gently left this world in the night and went home. His family called me and told me he had passed. The family asked me to do the funeral since I was the closest preacher he knew. Even on a sad occasion, I could tell of the stories he had told me and how he had found forgiveness again.

Sometimes I think about his family. I wonder if they ever took his words to heart. I know they heard them because I heard him speak to them. I just don’t know if they comprehended them.

For the next few months, I stayed connected with them, but they had no desire for spiritual things. It was as if they too thought they were a long way away from needing them. This was one fear of the older man as we talked on that first day. He knew his example was not the right one in past years and he wanted them to know what he should have done.

It has been several years since that phone call, but one thing he said remains with me until this day. On that first visit, after we had talked for a while, he told me something that confounded me. He told me he had called the area churches, and I was the only one that came to visit.

 “…the only one that came to visit.”

Even writing those words today conjures up emotions. I could not believe that after all those calls, I was the one that showed up.

In case you are wondering, there were others that answered his call, but they never came. Some even told him they would come. Honestly, I hope something changed that held them up. I even hope it was something drastic but not tragic, like a car that would not start or a sudden bout of the flu. I am thankful I picked up the phone that day. I am thankful I could go; even if I was the only one that went.

The story of those few days was a big impression on a younger preacher. I learned a few things from this older man as he reflected on his life.

I learned there is still time. No matter what you did, have done, or regret, there is still time. If you are taking a breath, there is time to be that prodigal son and come home again.

The walk home may not be easy. In fact, it will not be, but it will be worth it. I can only imagine what it was like for the prodigal son to return home. He left his family with the idea of never returning. He had more money on his hands than ever before. He was going away and nothing the father did could stop him. Once the prodigal son took his first step out of the house, the momentum of leaving grew greater. I imagine the momentum was stronger once he was in a distant land. As he entered the land, he did not know; I expect the grass seemed greener on the other side. Not only was he in a land that he did not know; he was in a land where people did not know him. No matter what he did, no one was going to go home and tell his family of his dire condition.

With new money comes new friends. Every lottery winner has experienced the sudden arrival of new friends once the announcement was made. This young man of Luke 15 was experiencing the same arrival of new friends. But, once the money was gone, so were the friends. Friends arriving because of money will be friends who depart with the money.

The prodigal son was stuck. The money was gone and so were his friends. The only thing to do was to find the one job he was glad his family did not know he was doing. In fact, we never hear him speak of this job once he is home. As a Jew, pigs were disgusting. They were unclean. They were not worthy of being eaten, taken care of, or even looked at. Now, he was feeding the pigs. His life had taken a drastic turn.

However,… he was still breathing.

He had an opportunity to go home.

The journey must have been long as he thought about the words he would say to his father. The emotions of disappointment must have been great. As he practiced those words, he drew closer to home. He was still breathing, and he still had the opportunity to come home, and he did.

My friend was still breathing, and he had decided to come home… and he did.

Family will be your harshest critics, but God will be your greatest forgiver. God sees what your family cannot see; He sees the real you. He does not see the past; He sees your need. He sees you ready to come home and ready to be home. We all think our families should be our biggest supporters, but that is not always the case. Even as a minister, our families may not always be our biggest supporters. Typically, our families will see the mistakes of the past and they will think of those instead of seeing the change in our lives.

Note: By families, I do not mean our spouse and our children, even though that may sometimes happen. Our families, since birth, have seen our mistakes, failures, and know all the things they saw as you were growing up. Their tendency is to think of the past instead of the present, or even the future. While they want the best, many times, they do not have the best beliefs for your future. As an example, consider the older brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son. (Luke 15)

When family are your harshest critics, you must continue to work on yourself. God believes in you because He sent His Son to die for you. When the world, our friends, and even our family lack faith, God does not. He gave you the gift of His Son for a reason. That reason is His hope that you will join Him in Heaven for eternity.

As my friend found out, it took his death for his family to finally realize what was happening. It took a drastic measure for them to understand that he would no longer be with this. While death for my friend made him look at life differently, when the reality hit, his family looked at it differently as well.

If you are in a position where your family cannot see the new you, or even your bright future, you must keep being you. You must take advantage of the gift of the Almighty God and know that He loves you and He wants you to come home. The first commandment in the Bible is to “Love the Lord God with all your heart, your mind, your strength, and your souls. The second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.” It is hard to love our neighbor as ourselves if we do not know how to love who we are.

You must love yourself so you can love others. God’s love in your life should be realized and comprehended by you. Other people may tell you about it, but you need to realize it. You are the reason you have the opportunity. God desires all men to come to a knowledge of repentance and come to the truth; this means you.

God wants you to come home.

I am glad I answered the phone that day.

I am glad I met my friend.

As a minister, calls like this happen. You can go weeks, or even months, without a call, but they will happen. It is these calls, and those like them, that many in our brotherhood will never see. On this occasion, I asked the congregation to pray for the older man. I know many did.

Just some thoughts,

Highly Favored and Blessed: A Reminder for Christian Men

As Christian men, we are often caught up in the daily grind, balancing work, family, and personal responsibilities. It’s easy to forget the incredible truth that we are highly favored by God. Let this be a reminder of the great opportunities and blessings that await us, as we walk in His favor.

Chosen and Loved: Remember that you are chosen by God, loved beyond measure, and called to a higher purpose. Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”

Equipped for Greatness: God has equipped you with unique talents and abilities to fulfill His plans. Embrace these gifts and use them for His glory. 1 Peter 4:10 encourages us, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”

Strengthened by Faith: In times of trial and challenge, remember that your strength comes from the Lord. Philippians 4:13 reassures us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Lean on Him, and He will provide the strength you need to overcome any obstacle.

Guided by Wisdom: Seek God’s wisdom in all aspects of your life. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” His wisdom will guide you toward opportunities and blessings.

Abundant Blessings Await: God has promised an abundant life for those who trust in Him. John 10:10 reminds us, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Look forward to the great things that God has in store for you.

Just some thoughts,

Be an Approachable Christian

Every day, Christians are under the spotlight. People are watching our actions and listening to our words to see if they align with our beliefs. Some do this out of genuine curiosity, while others might be more critical. Being approachable is crucial because we’re meant to be the light of the world. As Matthew 5:14-16 says, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” Our light shines as brightly as our faith allows. To shine even brighter and share God’s grace with the world, we need to be approachable.

Being approachable means we don’t pretend to be perfect. Instead, we acknowledge that through Christ, we’re being made perfect. Philippians 1:6 reminds us that “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” When 1 Peter 3:15 talks about giving an answer for the hope within us, it implies that someone will ask us about it. For them to ask, they need to feel comfortable approaching us. Our lives should reflect that we are approachable Christians.

Ways to Become More Approachable:

Be Genuine: Finding a genuine person is rare these days. Many people create a public image that hides their faults and mistakes. But none of us are perfect, and it’s important to show that. Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” Romans 12:9 also reminds us, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”

Pray Daily: Constant prayer is essential. If you’re not praying, someone else might be praying for you, and that could be why you’re where you are today. Ephesians 6:18 encourages us to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 also urges us to “pray without ceasing.”

Seek Jesus: Instead of trying to be a “super Christian,” focus on being like Jesus. He’s our model. Since the church is the body of Christ and Christ is the head, our actions should reflect that. Hebrews 12:2 urges us to “fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” 1 John 2:6 says, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

Be Honest: Honesty is key to being approachable. Just like being genuine, living an honest life is crucial. Proverbs 16:13 tells us, “Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value the one who speaks what is right.” Colossians 3:9-10 advises, “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

Approach Others: To be approachable, you also need to be willing to approach others. Step up, speak to people, and create a sense of openness. Romans 12:10 says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Inspirational Quotes to Reflect On:

• C.S. Lewis: “Don’t shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him.”
• Mother Teresa: “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
• Martin Luther King Jr.: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

What would you add to the list?

Just some thoughts.