It’s All in How You Say It

People are fascinating, aren’t they? A lot of folks will dodge a conversation even when the topic isn’t hard at all. Shame is usually what’s fogging up the windshield. Sometimes a little reframing of the words you use is all it takes to turn an awkward moment into an open door.

When I speak to groups about attitude and opportunity, I like to tell them about my high school job. I say I was a “gourmet express chef in a high-pressure, time-sensitive environment,” in charge of multitasking and keeping operations running smoothly. Then I let them sit with that for a second before I tell them what the job really was. It was Burger King.

I still don’t usually lead with “I’m a preacher.” That one word can clear a room faster than a fire drill. Instead, I tell people I’ve spent the last 29 years in personal development, helping others grow in career direction, mindset, knowledge, goal setting, and achievement. My work is rooted in ancient wisdom and applied to modern life.

Sooner or later, somebody asks who I work for, and that’s my favorite part. I tell them I work for the largest real estate owner in the world, someone who provides for the wealthy and the poor alike. I serve the richest man alive, who is also the most humble. He offers opportunity to everybody, looks past skin color, and pays attention to what’s possible in a person’s heart.

Then I ask if they’d like to work for Him too. Same truth, different door, and you’d be surprised how many people walk right through it.

Your turn. What do you do, and how are you saying it?

Just some thoughts.

Nobody Carries Water Alone

Picture a church fellowship meal in the middle of a hard week. Somebody brought three casseroles because she figured somebody else would forget, a man who just lost his job is laughing at the dessert table, and the widow who almost stayed home is getting more hugs than she can count. Nobody announced that this was a ministry, but every person in that room went home a little less thirsty than they came.

Jesus met a thirsty woman at Jacob’s well “about the sixth hour” (John 4.6), which is high noon, so you may as well expect the heat. The diagnosis, the layoff, and the empty chair at Thanksgiving are going to find all of us sooner or later, so get ready now.

Here is the good news. You do not have to face the dry season by yourself, and God never meant for you to try. When the heat comes, most of us reach for a puddle first, whether that is the phone at midnight, the shopping cart, or the “I’m fine” we say at the door. God calls those “broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2.13). A church family is not the spring, because only the Lord is “the fountain of living waters.” What a church family can do is walk you back to the spring when you are too tired to find it on your own. They can help you walk to the Living Water.

The woman of John 4 shows us how it works. Once she drank from the living water Jesus offered, she left her jar and ran into town telling everybody, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did” (John 4.29). One thirsty woman became a guide to water for a whole town.

What can you do this week?

  • Pick one person in a dry stretch and call them, write them a card, or save them a seat on Wednesday night.
  • Pray with them before you talk about the weather, and when they ask how you made it through your own drought, remind them to drink from the Living Water.

Just some thoughts.

 

 

 

52 Things I Have Learned in 52 Years

Today I turned 52, and somewhere between the birthday cake and the reading glasses I need to read the candles, I got to thinking. Fifty-two years is a lot of living. I’ve preached for 30 of them, raised a family, made more mistakes than I can count, and learned something from almost every one. Some lessons came easy. Most came the hard way, usually right after I was sure I had it all figured out.

So I decided to write them down: 52 things I’ve learned in 52 years.

A few will make you laugh, a few might step on your toes, and I hope at least one helps you live a better life starting today. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s walk through them together.

Enjoy.

#1 – Time is your most valuable commodity – You can always make more money, but you cannot make more time. Time will come and time will go. Appreciate the moments. They are here for a little while, then they vanish away.

#2 – You matter – It does not matter who you are, where you came from, what color you are, how much money you have…you matter. You are a precious, fragile soul with feelings, thoughts, and a purpose. You have been loved, even before you were born.

#3 – Every day is an opportunity to start again – Each sunrise brings hope. Yesterday is behind us for a reason. Today is a brand-new slate. Embrace it, squeeze it for all it is worth. No matter what the past holds, you can have a fresh start today.

#4 – Never stop learning – Throughout your life, be a learner. You will learn from your mistakes, and you will learn from the mistakes of others. Be sure you are learning. We live in the greatest time to be a learner. Resources are everywhere. Use them to learn and get better.

#5 – Surround yourself with people who move you – The people around you matter. Make sure the people around you are pushing you forward or pulling you forward. You must have people helping you in the right direction. Let them challenge you, comfort you, and help you grow.

#6 – Be the church – Stop going to church and decide to be the church. Stop sitting in the pew and just mouthing the words. Get your heart into focus, your mind in gear, and live in the moment. The church is not the walls, roof, or ceiling. It is you. Be the church.

#7 – Tell the stories – In your life, you have stories: good or bad. No matter what the story is, tell it. Let others know your experience. Let them know where you came from, the mistakes you made, and how you overcame them. Let others learn from you. The world’s thoughts don’t matter, your light that shines matters.

#8 – Stop whining – No one cares what you whine about. Whining in a world of blessings is like a dung heap in a beautiful lawn. People notice it, dislike it, and avoid it. They have enough bad news in their lives; they do not need you and your whining. Also, whining makes you miss blessings. So, stop whining.

#9 – Read books – Keep reading throughout your life. Read the Bible, read nonfiction, read fiction…. just read. Expand your mind through experience or their life. Learn from others. Ponder their knowledge. Let their success and mistakes be a light or a warning sign to you. Reading expands our mind. Go for it.

#10 – Call that person – There is a persona in your life you need to call right now. You know who they are. You know what needs to be said. Call them and tell them. Call them and let them know you care for them. Hear their voice one more time. They need to hear from you, and most of all, you need to hear you talking to them. Stop now and call them. I wish I could call my grandparents one more time.

#11 – Hug your kids – Those little tricycle motors will grow up fast. Their little footprint in the concrete will remain etched in time. You will see how they have grown, but they are never too old, or too big, to hug. Embrace them and hold them. You need it.

#12 – Get outside – Whatever you do, get outside. Look at the sun, the moon, the stars, the trees, the bugs, the grass, etc. Get outside and see what is before you. Living inside is just walls. Being outside brings possibilities. Walk barefoot and feel the ground again. Just like we were little, “dirt don’t hurt.”

#13 – Prepare to die – It will happen to us all. There will be a moment when we will take one more breath. Be sure you are ready. Be sure your family is taken care of, the documents are in place, and the passwords are written down. Don’t focus on death, still focus on life.

#14 – Stop being cheap – There is a difference in being smart and being cheap. You will spend more money on cheap, that you will on the best; or even the good. The cheap will break, anger you, and make you want the good to great. Get more than the cheap.

#15 – Go with your gut – If you are living well, go with your gut. Living well means you have trained your mind in a good place. Sometimes our guts speak to us and we ignore them. Many times, our gut tells us the appropriate thing to do.

#16 – One chapter of Proverbs a day – Whether you are a believer or not, read one chapter of Proverbs a day. Reach that chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. Example: First day of the month, read Proverbs 1. Second of the month, read Proverbs 2. You get the idea. Do it for one year and see how you change.

#17 – Put your to-dos on your calendar – Instead of keeping a to-do list, write your to-dos on your calendar as an appointment and keep it. A to-do list will get buried somewhere, but you will keep your calendar close. Write them down.

#18 – Communicate at a high level – Be sure to be the best communicator you can be. It will save you frustration, anger, and loss of time. Communication at an elevated level will put you in the 1% of people. Most people grunt, nod, and make sounds (umm hum), be a person that uses words, real words to share your thoughts.

#19 – Journal – Write your thoughts, events, experiences, life lessons, etc. in a journal. Not necessarily a diary, but a journal. Keep writing and this will be something you can look back on, but also something for you to pass on to your children and grandchildren. Through your journals you will see how you have grown.

#20 – Stay fit – An aging, worn out body is hard to manage. Keep fit, keep moving, and give your body the proper fuel it needs. The fuel you give it will determine much of the output you receive. Take care of your body but still enjoy the life you live.

#21 – Find work you love – Stop chasing money and find work you love. When you chase money, you will find it, but you might lose yourself in the process. Find work, not a job, but work you love and put your whole self into it. It will create opportunities for years.

#22 – Build a different network – Most people build networks to be able to use them for themselves. Use your network to help others and you will find help for yourself without looking. Be a servant to others, not a servant of self. Find people who you can help get better and make them a part of your network. Always look to serve.

#23 – Practice asking “What does this make possible?” – Ask the question, “What does this make possible?” when a roadblock or a change of calendar happens. Dan Miller taught me this phrase, and it will change your mindset and push you forward. Find the next steps, not the next bad thought.

#24 – Learn to listen – Listening is an active process of hearing what someone says and putting it in your mind, pondering it, and then, if necessary, making a response. Do not begin making a response until you listen to what is said. Respect the person’s thoughts by listening, considering, then answering.

#25 – Sleep well – Buy the good mattress. You will spend 7+ hours a night on a mattress, get a good one. You back, your body, and your spouse will appreciate it. Figure out what you need and get it. Also, get some sleep. The world will be there in the morning. It will be ok to go to sleep.

#26 – Fail but remember to get up – Take a fresh look on failure. Failure is not the end. Ceasing to get up after a failure is the end. Failure is a sign that it did not work right then. You might need to change course, change your mind, or change the process. But do not be afraid to fail, just keep getting up.

#27 – Invest some monies – Everyone tells to invest early, but in what. This is where you learn. Learn where to invest your money based on what your abilities are. Maybe it is ETFs, maybe it is mutual funds, maybe it is property. Whatever it is, spend time investing. Have that rainy day fund, but make it work for you.

#28 – Smile when you talk on the phone – People not only see your emotions and attitude, but they also hear it. You can hear when someone is smiling as they talk because their voice changes. It is happier, kinder, nicer. It makes a difference. Try it today.

#29 – Sit by a campfire – Just sit and relax with a cup of coffee and take in your surroundings. Let your mind wonder and your lungs breathe. (not the smoke, just the air) Listen to the cracking fire and enjoy the cool night air.

#30 – Email 10 people who are doing what you want to do – Search and find 10 people who are doing what you want to do and are doing it well. Tell them who you are, what you want to do, and ask them for advice. Let them share their knowledge with you. Use this as a part of your network. Be sure to email them back and show them your appreciation.

#31 – Dress for success – The adage is true, what are wear has an influence. Dress for the opportunities you want. It does not matter what the world says or shows, you need to dress and look for what you want. Look good, not like everyone else.

#32 – It is ok to love at a distance – There are times in your life where you can love at a distance. There are people you love (family, close friends, etc.) that you might need to love at a distance. They might bring chaos and stress into your life, and you want to love them, but you might need to distance yourself from them.

#33 – Cry when you need too – It is ok to cry, or as I say, “to sweat from your eyes.” King Solomon says there is time to mourn. Use it. If you need to mourn, mourn. If you need to shed tears, do it. It is ok. We need to express the wins and the losses of life. It is ok.

#34 – Watch a sunrise and watch a sunset – Get up early and see the day begin. In the evening, watch the sun go down. Watch the day as it begins and see it close. Enjoy the sun, its rays, and its sliding beyond the horizon.

#35 – Keep it simple – Honestly, you do not need a lot to make it through life. We buy things out of convenience, but we need to keep them simple. You don’t need everything; you just need the important things. Stop accumulating and start living.

#36 – Do the hard thing first – When you get up, there will be something hard to do that day. Get it done first. As Brian Tracy would say, “Eat that frog.” Get the hard thing done and the rest of the day will seem better. Keep going.

#37 – Plant a Garden – get your hands in the dirt. Plant a garden, or a few plants. Experience what it is like to plant a seed and watch it grow. Experience the growth process of patience and fruitfulness. Enjoy the process.

#38 – Lose your phone – For a few hours a day, just lose your phone. When you are with your family, kids, grandkids, etc. lose your phone. Take a moment to stop taking pictures and enjoy the moment. Let your mind live in the moment of family.

#39 – Stop expecting average to be excellent – Many times we expect average things to be excellent. If you eat fast food, then do not be surprised if it tastes like fast food. It is not steak; it is fast food. If you want excellent, get excellent. Live for better than average.

#40 – Take a personality test – Take a personality test and answer the questions honestly. Let the answers guide you to finding your personality type. Once you get it, search the strengths and weaknesses. Learn them. Learn what you are good at, need help with, and things you should avoid. Then, do them.

#41 – Dream big – Put yourself out there in your dreams. Make your goals, and your dreams big. Do not settle for ordinary, expect greatness from yourself. Make your dreams outrageous and go for them. Do not let little people take away big dreams.

#42 – Learn to like the rain – When most people complain, learn to dance in the rain. It refreshes, makes you smile and even changes your day. Rain is necessary. Rain will happen. But enjoy what it does. Jump in the puddle. Learn to appreciate the rain. The smell will relax you, and the drops will refresh you.

#43 – Be you – You were created uniquely. You are not some wondering blob of cells, but you are a living, breathing, active soul. You have gifts that no one else has and you were born at the right time. You are you. Be strong in who you are. The world needs you.

#44 –  Avoid evil – If it looks bad, stay away from it. It your gut tells you to leave, then leave. Your mind is warning you because it knows the perils of evil. Evil is not something to dig into. It is something to avoid. The curiosity of evil will break your spirit, change your mind, and you will lose your soul.

#45 – Respond and not react – It is very easy to react to every situation but try to respond instead. Give yourself four seconds to think, then respond. Our reactions are emotionally charged and usually too quick. Our responses are thought out. Do some thinking.

#46 – Apologize – Never fear apologizing. If you are wrong, say so. Stop always trying to be right and for a moment, apologize. Do not justify your apology, just apologize. Admit your wrong, the fault, the mistake, and apologize. It will do your heart, and the other person’s heart good.

#47 – Spend time with the elderly – Old age leaves people lonely. They need people to talk to and to share their experiences. Older people have stories, lessons, and life to share. Take a moment and share life with them. You will be amazed at what you learn, and who you will become.

#48 – Spend time with the young – Enjoy holding those babies and watching those toddlers. Their energy may be too much to manage but look at their zeal for life. Their enthusiasm is renewing. Their innocent lives warm our soul.

#49 – Stop living in the past – The past is behind you for a reason. Let go of high school, college, and whatever is behind you are reach forward. The future is bright. Realize your best day is the one you are in now.

#50 – Love your spouse – Honor, respect and love them. No matter what comes, or what storm of life throws at you, love them. They will be your support, and you should be their support. Grow with them. Appreciate them. Love them…unconditionally.

#51 – Enjoy life – You only get one here on Earth. Enjoy it. Live every day and be the encourage of a life well lived. Leave behind the troubles of the world and find the light of life. Live strong. Live Faithful. Most of all, live well.

#52 – Find God and be a child of His – Before you do anything else, find God. He is present. He is active. He wants you to come to Him. As King Solomon said, “Here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments. This is the whole duty of man.”

Just some thoughts,

 

 

 

 

Every Part Working

Some folks treat the church like a restaurant. You come in, you get served, and you leave a review on the drive home. The singing dragged on and on. The sermon ran  too long. Nobody spoke to anyone in the foyer. Three stars.

Church Review

Paul had a different picture. Paul says that God gave apostles, evangelists, shepherds, and teachers “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12). The ministry belongs to the saints. If you have been baptized into Christ, that means you.

Convenience produces spectators. Conviction produces disciples.

The body grows “when each part is working properly,” and it “builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:16). Nobody grows up in Christ as a solo act, because “the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you'” (1 Corinthians 12:21). Most of the teaching Hebrews 5:12 talks about will never happen behind a lectern. It happens at a kitchen table, in a text message, in a hospital room, or sitting beside a new Christian in Bible class.

Love is the climate where Christians grow. A greenhouse works because the conditions are right. That is why Paul wrote, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Here is a habit that helps: the Monthly Four. At the start of the month, pick four people. Pray for them by name. Find them at services. Send each of them a card. October just started, so you are right on time.

Start with one today. Name the person, then call them, write them, or sit with them this week. That is the body building itself up in love, one joint at a time.

Just some thoughts,

 

 

 

 

The Measuring Stick

We love to measure ourselves against the folks around us. Somebody is always a little shorter than we are.

Paul will not let us do that. The goal is “mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13). The pencil mark is set at the height of Jesus, not the person on the next pew. When you understand this, it humbles you, because nobody has arrived. It should also encourage you, because there is always more of Christ to grow into.

Growth has a direction. We are to “grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). More activity is not automatically growth. A weed grows fast too. There is a difference in accomplishment and activity.  It is just growing the wrong way. A garden vine needs a trellis to give its growth a direction, and Christ is where yours is supposed to point.

Growing into Him means holding truth and love together, “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). All truth and no love turns you into a hammer. All love and no truth turns you into a pillow. Jesus was “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14), both at once.

Watch Peter. He left his nets, sank in the water, swung a sword, and denied his Lord. Jesus restored him beside a charcoal fire (John 21:15-17). Less than two months after the cross, he preached on Pentecost. The last line he wrote to the church was “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18).

Think of one person you have been a hammer with, or a pillow with, and go make it right this week, with truth and love in the same conversation.

Look more like Jesus this October than you did last October.

Just some thoughts,

 

 

 

 

Are You a Lost Bottle?

Have you ever thrown a bottle into the sea?

Have you ever wondered how long it would take to find a bottle thrown into the sea?

On February 23, 2019, Jim Duke and his wife, Candy, were walking along the beach in Corpus Christi, Texas. During their walk, they discovered an old, well-worn bottle washed ashore. Intrigued, they carefully removed the cork and found a postcard inside.

The postcard instructed the finder to mail it immediately for a 50-cent reward. It was one of 1,796 bottles dropped across the western half of the Gulf of Mexico over several days in 1962 and 1963. The bottles were part of a “drift study” conducted by the U.S. Bureau of Commercial Fisheries, now known as the National Marine Fisheries Service. Since the “drift study”, satellites and GPS have rendered such studies obsolete.

Just think, four months before President Kennedy declared to a Houston crowd in 1962, “We choose to go to the Moon,” this bottle was set adrift and had been drifting ever since. It had been nearly 60 years. Who knows where this bottle had traveled or where it would end up?

Without direction, people face the same risk as this bottle. They float through life aimlessly, without a specific destination or purpose. Even Christians, without direction, can find themselves wandering through life, lost.

Thanks be to God, the Father, for sending His Son to show us the way. We know that Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” for us today (John 14:6). The early church recognized that Jesus was the Savior, and that salvation was found only through Him (Acts 4:12).

Are you wandering like a bottle in the sea? Or are you in the path leading to heaven and moving with purposeful actions?

Just some thoughts,