Most of us remember the first time somebody handed us something important and walked away. Maybe it was the keys to the family car, a cash drawer at a first job, or a newborn at the hospital door while the nurse smiled and waved goodbye. You stood there thinking, “Surely somebody is going to show me how this works.” Nobody did, so you figured it out the hard way.
That is roughly how many young preachers begin their work. A young man loves the Lord, loves the Word, and wants to spend his life telling people about Jesus. He gets some schooling, preaches a handful of sermons, and then a congregation hands him the keys to the whole building. Within a few years, a good number of these men are worn out, discouraged, or selling insurance. (Nothing against insurance. Somebody has to sell it.)
The Calling Is Not the Problem
When a preacher walks away early, we tend to wonder whether he was ever cut out for it. Sometimes that is a fair question. More often, I believe the man had the heart and the desire, and what he lacked was preparation for what the work actually involves.
Paul did not hand Timothy a diploma and wish him luck. He told the church at Philippi, “But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel” (Philippians 2:22). Notice that phrase “served with me.” Timothy learned by standing beside Paul in cities, in synagogues, in trouble, and in tears. His character was proven because it was tested in real places with real people watching.
Classroom Ministry and Real Ministry
There is a version of ministry that fits nicely in a classroom. It has outlines, Greek words, homiletics, and a professor who grades your sermon on a rule based on a perceived standard. All of that has value, and I am thankful for good Bible teachers. The trouble is that the classroom version lasts about forty minutes, and the real version runs all week.
Real ministry is a phone call at two in the morning from a family in the emergency room. It is standing at a graveside trying to find words for a mother who just buried her son. It is sitting in a meeting where two good brothers sharply disagree, and both expect you to take their side. It is getting a note on Monday saying your sermon was too long, followed by another note saying it was too short. Nobody puts those on a final exam.
A young man can ace every test and still be blindsided by the weight of helping souls. He may know the outline of Romans by heart and have no idea what to say to a man who just lost his job. He may preach beautifully and still not know how to apologize when he blows it. Those lessons come from life far more than from a book.
Why the First Few Years Hit So Hard
Young preachers often walk into their first work carrying expectations nobody bothered to correct. They figure the sermons will be appreciated, the growth will come quickly, and conflict will be rare. Then the first year arrives, and reality shows up with a casserole in one hand and a complaint in the other.
Paul knew Timothy would face pressure, so he wrote, “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). He followed that with, “Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you” (1 Timothy 4:16). A young preacher has to watch his teaching and his own soul at the same time. That is a heavy load, and too many men are trying to carry it by themselves.
Let me say this plainly. We have settled into a system where young men are expected to learn the hardest parts of ministry alone, in their first full-time work, with no safety net underneath them. Then when they struggle, we shake our heads and talk about the preacher shortage like it is the weather. It is not the weather. At least part of it is the result of how we prepare men.
What Leaders Can Do Right Now
The good news is that the fix does not start with a committee or a building fund. It starts with paying attention and giving young men real exposure before they carry the full load.
Here are a few places to begin.
Take a young preacher with you. When an experienced preacher or elder visits the hospital, makes a funeral home call, or studies with someone, he can bring a younger man along. Let him watch first and then talk on the drive home about what he saw.
Give honest, loving feedback. A young man who preaches and hears only “Nice job” learns very little. Sit down with him over coffee and talk about what connected, what was unclear, and what you would cut. Do it kindly but do it.
Let him see the hard meetings. With wisdom and discretion, invite him to observe how elders and/or preachers work through decisions and disagreements. He will learn more about leadership by watching godly men disagree well than from any chapter in a textbook.
Tell him the truth about the work. Older preachers, tell young men about the hard Sundays and the lonely Mondays. Do not scare them off, but do not sell them a fantasy either. A man who knows what is coming is far less likely to quit when it shows up.
Preparation Is a Kindness
Preparing a young man well is one of the kindest things a church can do for him. It is also a kindness to every congregation he will serve after that. When we train men for the whole of the work, we send out preachers who are steadier, humbler, and far more likely to still be preaching twenty years from now.
In the next post, I want to lay out a simple model a congregation can use to do exactly that and talk honestly about the money side of it. For now, think about the young preachers you already know. Ask yourself whether anybody is walking beside them.
Just some thoughts.
Today I turned 52, and somewhere between the birthday cake and the reading glasses I need to read the candles, I got to thinking. Fifty-two years is a lot of living. I’ve preached for 30 of them, raised a family, made more mistakes than I can count, and learned something from almost every one. Some lessons came easy. Most came the hard way, usually right after I was sure I had it all figured out.
So I decided to write them down: 52 things I’ve learned in 52 years.
A few will make you laugh, a few might step on your toes, and I hope at least one helps you live a better life starting today. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s walk through them together.
Enjoy.
#1 – Time is your most valuable commodity – You can always make more money, but you cannot make more time. Time will come and time will go. Appreciate the moments. They are here for a little while, then they vanish away.
#2 – You matter – It does not matter who you are, where you came from, what color you are, how much money you have…you matter. You are a precious, fragile soul with feelings, thoughts, and a purpose. You have been loved, even before you were born.
#3 – Every day is an opportunity to start again – Each sunrise brings hope. Yesterday is behind us for a reason. Today is a brand-new slate. Embrace it, squeeze it for all it is worth. No matter what the past holds, you can have a fresh start today.
#4 – Never stop learning – Throughout your life, be a learner. You will learn from your mistakes, and you will learn from the mistakes of others. Be sure you are learning. We live in the greatest time to be a learner. Resources are everywhere. Use them to learn and get better.
#5 – Surround yourself with people who move you – The people around you matter. Make sure the people around you are pushing you forward or pulling you forward. You must have people helping you in the right direction. Let them challenge you, comfort you, and help you grow.
#6 – Be the church – Stop going to church and decide to be the church. Stop sitting in the pew and just mouthing the words. Get your heart into focus, your mind in gear, and live in the moment. The church is not the walls, roof, or ceiling. It is you. Be the church.
#7 – Tell the stories – In your life, you have stories: good or bad. No matter what the story is, tell it. Let others know your experience. Let them know where you came from, the mistakes you made, and how you overcame them. Let others learn from you. The world’s thoughts don’t matter, your light that shines matters.
#8 – Stop whining – No one cares what you whine about. Whining in a world of blessings is like a dung heap in a beautiful lawn. People notice it, dislike it, and avoid it. They have enough bad news in their lives; they do not need you and your whining. Also, whining makes you miss blessings. So, stop whining.
#9 – Read books – Keep reading throughout your life. Read the Bible, read nonfiction, read fiction…. just read. Expand your mind through experience or their life. Learn from others. Ponder their knowledge. Let their success and mistakes be a light or a warning sign to you. Reading expands our mind. Go for it.
#10 – Call that person – There is a persona in your life you need to call right now. You know who they are. You know what needs to be said. Call them and tell them. Call them and let them know you care for them. Hear their voice one more time. They need to hear from you, and most of all, you need to hear you talking to them. Stop now and call them. I wish I could call my grandparents one more time.
#11 – Hug your kids – Those little tricycle motors will grow up fast. Their little footprint in the concrete will remain etched in time. You will see how they have grown, but they are never too old, or too big, to hug. Embrace them and hold them. You need it.
#12 – Get outside – Whatever you do, get outside. Look at the sun, the moon, the stars, the trees, the bugs, the grass, etc. Get outside and see what is before you. Living inside is just walls. Being outside brings possibilities. Walk barefoot and feel the ground again. Just like we were little, “dirt don’t hurt.”
#13 – Prepare to die – It will happen to us all. There will be a moment when we will take one more breath. Be sure you are ready. Be sure your family is taken care of, the documents are in place, and the passwords are written down. Don’t focus on death, still focus on life.
#14 – Stop being cheap – There is a difference in being smart and being cheap. You will spend more money on cheap, that you will on the best; or even the good. The cheap will break, anger you, and make you want the good to great. Get more than the cheap.
#15 – Go with your gut – If you are living well, go with your gut. Living well means you have trained your mind in a good place. Sometimes our guts speak to us and we ignore them. Many times, our gut tells us the appropriate thing to do.
#16 – One chapter of Proverbs a day – Whether you are a believer or not, read one chapter of Proverbs a day. Reach that chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. Example: First day of the month, read Proverbs 1. Second of the month, read Proverbs 2. You get the idea. Do it for one year and see how you change.
#17 – Put your to-dos on your calendar – Instead of keeping a to-do list, write your to-dos on your calendar as an appointment and keep it. A to-do list will get buried somewhere, but you will keep your calendar close. Write them down.
#18 – Communicate at a high level – Be sure to be the best communicator you can be. It will save you frustration, anger, and loss of time. Communication at an elevated level will put you in the 1% of people. Most people grunt, nod, and make sounds (umm hum), be a person that uses words, real words to share your thoughts.
#19 – Journal – Write your thoughts, events, experiences, life lessons, etc. in a journal. Not necessarily a diary, but a journal. Keep writing and this will be something you can look back on, but also something for you to pass on to your children and grandchildren. Through your journals you will see how you have grown.
#20 – Stay fit – An aging, worn out body is hard to manage. Keep fit, keep moving, and give your body the proper fuel it needs. The fuel you give it will determine much of the output you receive. Take care of your body but still enjoy the life you live.
#21 – Find work you love – Stop chasing money and find work you love. When you chase money, you will find it, but you might lose yourself in the process. Find work, not a job, but work you love and put your whole self into it. It will create opportunities for years.
#22 – Build a different network – Most people build networks to be able to use them for themselves. Use your network to help others and you will find help for yourself without looking. Be a servant to others, not a servant of self. Find people who you can help get better and make them a part of your network. Always look to serve.
#23 – Practice asking “What does this make possible?” – Ask the question, “What does this make possible?” when a roadblock or a change of calendar happens. Dan Miller taught me this phrase, and it will change your mindset and push you forward. Find the next steps, not the next bad thought.
#24 – Learn to listen – Listening is an active process of hearing what someone says and putting it in your mind, pondering it, and then, if necessary, making a response. Do not begin making a response until you listen to what is said. Respect the person’s thoughts by listening, considering, then answering.
#25 – Sleep well – Buy the good mattress. You will spend 7+ hours a night on a mattress, get a good one. You back, your body, and your spouse will appreciate it. Figure out what you need and get it. Also, get some sleep. The world will be there in the morning. It will be ok to go to sleep.
#26 – Fail but remember to get up – Take a fresh look on failure. Failure is not the end. Ceasing to get up after a failure is the end. Failure is a sign that it did not work right then. You might need to change course, change your mind, or change the process. But do not be afraid to fail, just keep getting up.
#27 – Invest some monies – Everyone tells to invest early, but in what. This is where you learn. Learn where to invest your money based on what your abilities are. Maybe it is ETFs, maybe it is mutual funds, maybe it is property. Whatever it is, spend time investing. Have that rainy day fund, but make it work for you.
#28 – Smile when you talk on the phone – People not only see your emotions and attitude, but they also hear it. You can hear when someone is smiling as they talk because their voice changes. It is happier, kinder, nicer. It makes a difference. Try it today.
#29 – Sit by a campfire – Just sit and relax with a cup of coffee and take in your surroundings. Let your mind wonder and your lungs breathe. (not the smoke, just the air) Listen to the cracking fire and enjoy the cool night air.
#30 – Email 10 people who are doing what you want to do – Search and find 10 people who are doing what you want to do and are doing it well. Tell them who you are, what you want to do, and ask them for advice. Let them share their knowledge with you. Use this as a part of your network. Be sure to email them back and show them your appreciation.
#31 – Dress for success – The adage is true, what are wear has an influence. Dress for the opportunities you want. It does not matter what the world says or shows, you need to dress and look for what you want. Look good, not like everyone else.
#32 – It is ok to love at a distance – There are times in your life where you can love at a distance. There are people you love (family, close friends, etc.) that you might need to love at a distance. They might bring chaos and stress into your life, and you want to love them, but you might need to distance yourself from them.
#33 – Cry when you need too – It is ok to cry, or as I say, “to sweat from your eyes.” King Solomon says there is time to mourn. Use it. If you need to mourn, mourn. If you need to shed tears, do it. It is ok. We need to express the wins and the losses of life. It is ok.
#34 – Watch a sunrise and watch a sunset – Get up early and see the day begin. In the evening, watch the sun go down. Watch the day as it begins and see it close. Enjoy the sun, its rays, and its sliding beyond the horizon.
#35 – Keep it simple – Honestly, you do not need a lot to make it through life. We buy things out of convenience, but we need to keep them simple. You don’t need everything; you just need the important things. Stop accumulating and start living.
#36 – Do the hard thing first – When you get up, there will be something hard to do that day. Get it done first. As Brian Tracy would say, “Eat that frog.” Get the hard thing done and the rest of the day will seem better. Keep going.
#37 – Plant a Garden – get your hands in the dirt. Plant a garden, or a few plants. Experience what it is like to plant a seed and watch it grow. Experience the growth process of patience and fruitfulness. Enjoy the process.
#38 – Lose your phone – For a few hours a day, just lose your phone. When you are with your family, kids, grandkids, etc. lose your phone. Take a moment to stop taking pictures and enjoy the moment. Let your mind live in the moment of family.
#39 – Stop expecting average to be excellent – Many times we expect average things to be excellent. If you eat fast food, then do not be surprised if it tastes like fast food. It is not steak; it is fast food. If you want excellent, get excellent. Live for better than average.
#40 – Take a personality test – Take a personality test and answer the questions honestly. Let the answers guide you to finding your personality type. Once you get it, search the strengths and weaknesses. Learn them. Learn what you are good at, need help with, and things you should avoid. Then, do them.
#41 – Dream big – Put yourself out there in your dreams. Make your goals, and your dreams big. Do not settle for ordinary, expect greatness from yourself. Make your dreams outrageous and go for them. Do not let little people take away big dreams.
#42 – Learn to like the rain – When most people complain, learn to dance in the rain. It refreshes, makes you smile and even changes your day. Rain is necessary. Rain will happen. But enjoy what it does. Jump in the puddle. Learn to appreciate the rain. The smell will relax you, and the drops will refresh you.
#43 – Be you – You were created uniquely. You are not some wondering blob of cells, but you are a living, breathing, active soul. You have gifts that no one else has and you were born at the right time. You are you. Be strong in who you are. The world needs you.
#44 – Avoid evil – If it looks bad, stay away from it. It your gut tells you to leave, then leave. Your mind is warning you because it knows the perils of evil. Evil is not something to dig into. It is something to avoid. The curiosity of evil will break your spirit, change your mind, and you will lose your soul.
#45 – Respond and not react – It is very easy to react to every situation but try to respond instead. Give yourself four seconds to think, then respond. Our reactions are emotionally charged and usually too quick. Our responses are thought out. Do some thinking.
#46 – Apologize – Never fear apologizing. If you are wrong, say so. Stop always trying to be right and for a moment, apologize. Do not justify your apology, just apologize. Admit your wrong, the fault, the mistake, and apologize. It will do your heart, and the other person’s heart good.
#47 – Spend time with the elderly – Old age leaves people lonely. They need people to talk to and to share their experiences. Older people have stories, lessons, and life to share. Take a moment and share life with them. You will be amazed at what you learn, and who you will become.
#48 – Spend time with the young – Enjoy holding those babies and watching those toddlers. Their energy may be too much to manage but look at their zeal for life. Their enthusiasm is renewing. Their innocent lives warm our soul.
#49 – Stop living in the past – The past is behind you for a reason. Let go of high school, college, and whatever is behind you are reach forward. The future is bright. Realize your best day is the one you are in now.
#50 – Love your spouse – Honor, respect and love them. No matter what comes, or what storm of life throws at you, love them. They will be your support, and you should be their support. Grow with them. Appreciate them. Love them…unconditionally.
#51 – Enjoy life – You only get one here on Earth. Enjoy it. Live every day and be the encourage of a life well lived. Leave behind the troubles of the world and find the light of life. Live strong. Live Faithful. Most of all, live well.
#52 – Find God and be a child of His – Before you do anything else, find God. He is present. He is active. He wants you to come to Him. As King Solomon said, “Here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments. This is the whole duty of man.”
Just some thoughts,
