On March 4, 1865, with the Civil War nearly over, Abraham Lincoln gave his second inaugural address. Instead of gloating, he spoke of both sides humbly. He said both read the same Bible and prayed to the same God, and each invoked His aid against the other. He added, “let us judge not that we be not judged.” Then came his famous closing: “With malice toward none; with charity for all,” let us strive “to bind up the nation’s wounds.” A witness said the sun broke through the clouds as Lincoln stepped forward. Only weeks later, he was assassinated. Winning is not the goal. Healing is.
Daryl Davis is a Black blues musician who first met a Klansman after a gig, when a white man came up to say he’d never heard a Black man play piano like Jerry Lee Lewis. They got to talking, and the man pulled out his Klan card. Instead of walking away, Daryl got curious. For about 30 years he went around the country sitting down with Klan members and leaders, studying up so he could talk with them, and asking one simple question: how can you hate me when you don’t even know me? Friendships grew out of those conversations, and Daryl says about 200 Klansmen have given up their robes. He’s quick to say he didn’t convert anybody. They saw the light and changed themselves.
Picture the first winter of World War I. British and German soldiers are freezing in muddy trenches, sometimes close enough to shout across to each other. Late on Christmas Eve 1914, the British troops heard the Germans singing carols and saw lanterns and little fir trees lined up along the enemy trenches. Men started calling back and forth. On Christmas Day, soldiers from both sides climbed out and met in No Man’s Land. They swapped gifts, took pictures together, buried their dead, and in some spots even kicked a football around. It didn’t happen everywhere, and the fighting started back up, but for a few hours the men who were supposed to kill each other stood side by side as human beings.