Several people have tagged me to post a black and white photo for seven days on Facebook describing some aspect of my life. While I typically pass on these things, this one does not sound to bad. Since I am going to write a small blurb to go along with the photo, I thought I go ahead and share these on the Preacher’s Pen website as well.
Day #1 – My Relationship with Coffee
Coffee is in my blood.
Several of my first memories involve my family sitting around and drinking a cup of coffee. It didn’t matter if it was a snowy West Virginia morning or if it was a blistering August day, there was always a cup of coffee to drink.
When I was younger, the thought of drinking coffee was pretty disgusting. I didn’t like the flavor, I didn’t like the taste; then in my college years I discovered the wonderful taste of coffee.
As a student at West Virginia University, I was walking about a mile and a half to campus everyday. During those times I would drink a cup of coffee on the way to class, then after class, make my way to the Student Center for another large cup of coffee. Those days began a habit which would last me for years. Even when I wasn’t drinking a cup of coffee, I still wanted one.
When I wasn’t living near campus, I was driving everyday from Bridgeport, WV and I would have a nice steaming cup of coffee along the way. After class, once again I found my way to the student center for another cup of coffee.
This continued to my travels at Freed-Hardeman University, where I actually burned out a Mr. Coffee 4 cup coffee maker. I called home one day and my mom asked me what I needed. I mentioned that I would really like a new coffee pot. A few days later, a new coffee pot arrived. This only made the matter worse because the next coffee pot was a 12-cup coffee maker.
Hence the relationship still continues.
Every morning I get up there’s a cup of coffee fixed by my beautiful wife.
I drink more coffee than most things these days. It may be a sign of getting older, but I happen to enjoy it.
There is more to coffee than caffeine and the aroma, there is an atmosphere about coffee. The atmosphere is a relaxed time with friends, family, co-workers or someone you want to get to know better. Hearing the words, “Want to grab a cup of coffee?” can take any stressful day and begin to make it better.
The first article in “A Search for a Better Life” begins with a personal glimpse and a personal challenge.
The words that follow are not meant to be a self-proclamation, but a simple revealing of someone trying to get better. While not perfect, I seek to do better.
These are not anyone’s word or thoughts but mine.
Grab your cup of coffee and hopefully enjoy.
Diamonds.
For years, Russell Conwell traveled the world sharing one simple story, “Acres of Diamonds” It would be this one story which challenged the
As the story goes, a man became infatuated with diamonds and sold all he had to search for the diamonds his heart desired. The man’s name was Ali Hafed.
Upon a lifetime of searching, Ali did not find the diamonds he desired. In the process, he lost his health and all that he possessed. Finally, discontent with his search and his failure, he took his own life in the sea.
In the meantime, the farmer who purchased Ali Hafed’s farm stumbled across an object in the garden brook. Upon inspection, the new landowner noticed the beautiful colors reflected from the stone. He decided to set the stone his mantle.
A little while later and village priest noticed that stone on the mantle. “It’s a diamond!” shouted the priest.
Sure enough, the new landowner had bought a farm full of diamonds.
Ali Hafed, while searching the world for the diamonds his heart desired, sold they very field that possessed all the diamonds he would ever need.
As simple as the story Russell Conwell traveled the world sharing, the principle is true. Many people will travel the world searching for a better life when they are standing in the middle of the best life available. The problem is, they do not recognize the opportunity.
Searching for a better life amid a chaotic world means one should do so with open eyes. Some of our greatest opportunities to improve our lives are right before us; all we must do is notice.
Personally, speaking
In my search for a better life, I have been made uncomfortable.
Honestly, I do not like to be uncomfortable. I like to find myself doing what I want to do, in the routine I want to do it, at the time that I want to do it. I like things to fit my comfort. The things that I find uncomfortable frustrate me. They break me out of my shell and force me to reach beyond my abilities into areas I do not want to go.
I still dislike being uncomfortable. I must leave what I know and begin a journey into the unknown. But guess what, 99% of times, I learn something I never had before.
Life is Uncomfortable
I hated learning to ride a bike.
My first bike was an old painted green bike bought a garage sale. I thought I could just hop on the seat and start pedaling away. Little did I know there is more to a bike than hopping on it and riding. You must learn balance.
Balance was more than sitting on the seat. Balance had to do with body position, steering the bike and moving your feet – all at the same time.
Well, my frustration of five minutes turned to anger. I remember taking the bike and slamming it into the retaining wall at my grandparents’ house and asking God to reign down fire upon the bike. I hate it.
In my mind, I not only hated riding a bike. I figured riding a bike was the dumbest thing known to man. I was done.
Well, a few weeks later, I was back on the bike and flying down my grandparent’s driveway toward the ramp I had made from scrap wood. What changed?
I had decided that riding a bike was not as bad as I first thought. I knew that once I got going, I could go places faster, jump from ramps, do wheelies and even wreck. It would take a little while, but being uncomfortable for a better reward was worth it.
Life makes us uncomfortable, but the rewards are worth it.
Searching for a Better Life is Uncomfortable
When I first started searching for a better life, it was uncomfortable. Not only did I had to leave what I found to be pleasing to what I wanted and liked, but I also had to begin making sacrifices.
Sacrifice is not a word we typically associated with a better life. Usually, when we hear the word “sacrifice” we know what we are going to give something up, and sometimes it might hurt.
However, a sacrifice is not always negative. Many times, when we see the opportunity, the sacrifices we make are worth it. We may not see an immediate benefit, but the long-range benefit outweighs the short-term sacrifice.
When I learned to ride a bike, I made a sacrifice of time as well as skinned knees and hands. Those sacrifices led to knowledge that would benefit me later in life. Those short weeks of learning to ride propelled me into times spent riding around town with my friends, and even jumping a ravine at the local city park which did not turn out too well, but makes for a great story.
Making a sacrifice to reap long-term results is something we all have made at various times in our lives. It is also something we will do again.
My Sacrifice While Searching for Truth
At various points, I decided to give up certain things was well worth the cost of a better life.
See, I grew up in a conservative, non-political, religious home. I am the oldest child, which means I am the first to travel many paths in life. My upbringing was unique, and I would not trade it for any other. There were struggles along the path, but I look back now and see that each struggle was just me finding my way in the world.
Growing up in the time and place I did, was different than most people I know, but that does not make it any less significant. I am thankful for the way that I was raised, and it made me into the person I am today.
However, I was always a searching child. I always asked the question, “Why?” because I wanted to know. I was and still am intrigued by the small things of life, and I stand in awe of many other things.
Each one of us has asked the question, “Why?” Because you are reading this series, “A Search for Truth,” I have a feeling you are looking to find some answers to the questions you have had and will have in the future.
Where Your Search Begins
Your search begins when you start to answer a few questions. The questions below are for you to find your starting point. Every journey begins somewhere, and yours can begin today at the very place you are currently.
Let these questions be the beginning of “A Search for a Better Life.”
What are you searching for today?
In the story, Acres of Diamonds, Ali Hafed wanted earthly wealth, and when he found himself dissatisfied, he lost all that he had; including his life.
I am not searching for earthly wealth, and I do not think you are either. I am searching for meaning and purpose, but also a legacy. I want to leave a legacy for my children, grandchildren, and generations to come. I prefer, in my self-interest, not to die and be forgotten. I desire to be someone who leaves a legacy for others to see and learn from my success and failures.
Simply put, I want to leave an influence for the better.
Where are you searching?
Many times, like Ali Hafed in Acres of Diamonds, people search far and wide, and the answers are right in front of them. In my search, I simply looked at my starting place and all the opportunities around me to find where I needed to go next.
I did not have to look very far to see where I needed to be. I suspect you will not have to look very far either.
Where do you want to go?
I want to go far. Not physically far, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually far. Distance is not in physical miles but mental clarity. I know people who have only traveled several hundred miles from where they grew up, and they have a greater focus and clarity than other I know who have traveled the world.
By the way, education is not always an indicator of how far you will go. As Mark Twain is credited as saying, “Do not let school get in the way of your education.”
Still with Me?
I hope I have not lost you yet. I hope you are still with me.
This series is an open-hearted look at life by a struggling, rambunctious and searching adult who wants to leave the world a little bit better than when he first arrived. There is no perfection here. In fact, if you stick around long enough you will see the imperfections for what they are worth.
Many people write only about success, but now and then we need some to write about their failures, so we all can learn together.
Next Week, let’s talk about choices and consequences.
It begins on Monday and where it leads I will never know.
The world is confusing. Between political differences, religious differences, social differences, age differences, cultural differences, economic differences and much more, the world is a tough place to navigate.
What works in one place, might not work in another. What works one time, will or will not work in another. Each place is different.
However, just because there are differences, does not mean there is not truth. 2 + 2 will always equal 4. It does not matter if one is in the United States of America, India or Kosovo, 2 + 2 is 4.
Each difference is exciting, but navigating through those differences to the truth takes more than a compass. It takes understanding the situation as well as a compassionate mind to see the other person’s life as it is and life as to what it can become.
Monday, it begins.
From this coming Monday until I decide to stop, I want to share with you a searching soul. Call it a journey, an exploration, a wandering, a “walkabout” or gentle stroll. Whatever the term you choose, it will be a search for a better life.
This search will be uncomfortable. It will be difficult. It will be fun. It will be rewarding.
I invite you to take this journey with me as I share some words on “A Search for a Better Life.”
I must warn you; this search will define life. Maybe not your life, but my life. It will be a challenge.
Anyway, see you Monday, and I hope you will try to enjoy the journey.
The title above is a question posted on my Facebook page every day at 3 pm, and the comments are growing and the private messages are interesting. There have been requests from family, friends, acquaintances and even friends of friends I do not know. Each request is important because someone needs prayer in their life.
Many times, people complicate religion and its actions, when many times they are very simple. The question, “How can we pray for you today?” is a simple question, but it can bring powerful results.
I started asking the question because there is a need for more prayer in our world. While Paul tells us to make our supplications and requests known to God (Philippians 4.6), we can also petition him on behalf of others:
Prayers for those who persecute and mistreat us (Matthew 5.44; Luke 6.28; Acts 7.60)
Prayer for the sick (James 5.16)
Prayer for other Christians (Ephesians 1.15-21; Hebrews 13.18-19)
Prayer for governmental leaders (1 Timothy 2.1-2
As God’s lights in the world, our lives should be filled with prayer (1 Thessalonians 5.17; Ephesians 6.18; Luke 18.1). Prayer is our communication with the Creator to share our joys, praises for Him, our woes and our burdens as well as requests for others.
I challenge you to ask others how you can pray for them. It might be a Facebook post, a text message or a face-to-face question, but ask them who you can pray for them. Who knows, it might lead to many powerful opportunities.
Maybe you can ask the question on Facebook, Twitter and other social media as well.
Last year, on this day I offered “42 Things I Learned at 42.” This year, I thought about adapting the list to consider the age of 43, but it seems necessary to make a different list for a different year.
I have not written much this year because it has been hard to write over the past three years. My thoughts seem more scattered than ever. I want to write more, but you often wonder who is reading it and how it is affecting their life.
Today I share with you a few thoughts as I think about what affects me the most each day. If you want to read them, go right ahead. I am not responsible for what chaos occurs.
Here they are…
#1 – Where Are You Going?
Often a favorite question of parents to their teenagers as they are walking out the door, but it is a relevant question at any age. While one may know where they are going physically, I would ask, “Where are you going in your life?”
The hope and dreams we have as children were probably squashed by the reality of life. We heard too much of “you can’t” and “that will never work” that we became accustomed to following the status quo. Instead of creating business and being the employer, we maintain business and become the employees.
The question, “Where are you going?” should be examined on a life-long scale. Consider three other questions:
Will your life be great at the end? Will you start to close your eyes for the last time, will you have any regrets? Many times in life we say we will want to live a life of no regrets but are you living it? As said by many people, “You cannot go back and make a new beginning, but you can start today and make a new ending.”
What are you working toward? Every day, I look forward to where I am going. When I walk into my office and say, “Echo, what is my flash briefing?” it tells me the news highlights of the morning and every time I long for a better world. I know where I am going and sometimes I want to get there a little faster. (By the way, I am talking about Heaven. I hope you are going there too.)
Who are you taking with you? The greatness of any success is not achieving it alone, but taking someone with you. It has been said by many successful people that “it is lonely at the top.” Taking someone with you to your success not only decreases the loneliness, but it aids someone else in their goals. Who are you taking with you?
#2 – Who Do You Love?
About 14% of people started singing the song “Who Do You Love” by Bo Diddley, 53% of people started singing the George Thorogood version, and the other 33% are googling “Who Do You Love” by Bo Diddley on their phones.
As I read the topic of love, I find it is constantly filled with fully, huggy garbage instead of what true love is and can be. True love is the other person, not about you. It is about how you act, react and respond to the other person. I believe it was Josh McDowell who said that love is “when someone’s emotions, thoughts, and actions become more important to you than your own.”
To whom do you show love? Love is not just words; anyone can speak words. Your love is shown to others in actions…your actions toward someone else. Love is more than holding hands, hugs, and gifts. Love is sleepless nights worrying about a teenager or college student. Love is doing things behind the scenes knowing no one will ever see. Love is letting someone else take the rewards of success because they need it more than you. Love is expressing hard words and actions to someone else, so they can do better than you ever have.
Love listens. Remember, love is more than words. Love is listening. It is listening to voice tone, to breathing and life. Listening is more than hearing; it is focusing on the other person no matter what you want to say. It is holding your thoughts until you understand the other person’s point of view. Love is asking questions when you do not understand. Love is uncomfortable. It is hard to listen and not say a word, but love does. Love responds with compassion and hope for the individual. Love listens.
Love is not perfect. Before we venture any further, to my religious friends, God’s love is perfect; it is our love that needs work. Love is a lifetime or work. It is work because people change and when people change our thoughts and feelings toward them change. Love allows you to look at the person and go through the changes with them. Those changes are where love is uncomfortable. Love does change; either for the better or the worse. While love is not perfect, that does not mean we should not strive to love more every day.
#3 – Maybe You Should Stop Caring?
A few years ago, I decided not to care anymore. I got to a point where I realized I could not make people change their minds, no matter how hard I try. As Jim Rohn said, “I told myself I would die trying, and I almost did.”
I got tired of trying to live up to other’s expectations and start living the life I was meant to live. Each of us is unique. We are different but unique means “one of a kind.” You should realize that you were created like none other and you need to be living like you were meant to live.
Seriously, What Matters? Too many people focus on what others think instead of what they need to be doing. At the end of your life, will it matter how many Facebook Likes, Instagram Follows or Snapchats you had? Not one bit. In my choice of opportunities, I have been there when people have died, and not one wished to work more, send another status or criticize more. Do you not what they want? They want their family to know they love them…that is what matters.
Build Yourself Up. Spend more time growing yourself than you think. Do not let your education stop with a degree, but let it continue with wisdom. Take your experiences and learn from them. Do not let the opportunities to build yourself up in the present sit idly by, but take advantage of them. Stop spending hours in the blackhole of Youtube videos of idiocy and watch ones which will help you become better. To build others up, you must first build yourself up.
Care for Others. I know I said to stop caring, but do not stop caring for others. You cannot care what others think, but that does not mean to stop caring for others. There is a difference. As blessed people, we have a responsibility to care for others. We live in one of the richest nations of all-time. When we realize our blessings, it becomes necessary to bless someone else. First, care for your family. Your family is where your caring starts.
#4 – Stop Whining and Start Living
Do you know what whiny people turn into in a year? More annoying and whinier people. Seriously, experiment with it and see if I am right.
Focus on the Excellent. Stop focusing on the good and focus on the excellent. Average people will focus on average things. I am not sure you are meant to be average, but you are meant to be excellent. Now, not everyone will be excellent as the world pictures excellent, and that is because the world is wrong. Yes, I said it, the world is wrong. The stereotypes of the world are chaotic and wrong. We are all created to be excellent, find your excellence. I believe Martin Luther King said it best, ““If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
Spend More Time Complimenting. Spend less time whining, criticizing or what have you and more time complimenting someone. For many years, studies have shown people respond to a compliment or a suggestion than they do a negative word said with a negative attitude. Momma always said “there is good in everyone; you just have to dig deep enough to find it.” Find it and tell them about it.
Live a Mature Life. The world is full of too many Al Bundy’s. You remember Al, right? The man living in his past all the time on the non-family show “Married with Children.” He always talked about the “glory days of high school” and the “great high school football years” instead of achieving greatness in the present. There are too many people in the world living in one past success and not creating greater successes. Grow every day.
Bonus:
Can I offer another one? Laugh. Just laugh.
Final Thoughts:
I hope my short bits of wisdom help you out today. Maybe in the future, there will be a few more cycles of thought put into writing and stretched across these pages. I appreciate your time today.
