Every year, promises are made for the betterment of lives. People promise themselves everything from weight loss, job promotions, better health, quit smoking, quit eating sweets and a host of other promises for each area of life, but how many people are going to resolve to have a stronger, better marriage?
Please understand that just because you spend time improving your marriage, does not mean you have a bad marriage, it means you want to have a better one.
Too many people see others reading a book on marriage and assume they are having trouble, that is not always the case. There are some who want to improve their marriage each day so they can have the marriage God intended – one which serves each other and glorifies Him!
Many present-day marriages seem to struggle because people are spending more time planning the wedding than planning the marriage. Our society blasts the pictures of “fairy tale” weddings to our girls from the moment they can play house. Everything from music, the internet, advertising, and television informs our young ladies they need to have the biggest, longest and prettiest dress in town or their wedding will not bring the promised blessing of a beautiful wedding. Along with the dress, there must be a buffet of steak, lobster, and salmon, with at least 500 guests or the wedding cannot work. These images are destined to bring problems into marriages because the focus is on the one-day event, not the lifetime commitment.
I mean, have you seen the “Say Yes to the Dress” and the other shows? Crazy!
The thoughts go both ways as well. While many times the wedding is a lady thing, the honeymoon is usually thought of as a guy thing. Pictures of the honeymoon of a lifetime, with much chandelier swinging and never leaving the room, fill the stories and dreams of men as they approach their wedding. (Yes, ladies, it is what men dream of.)
Trust me, I am no marriage guru, but I would like to offer you a couple “Tips to Improve your Marriage” along with several of my favorite books on marriage. I hope you will seek to strengthen your marriage this year.
Tips to Improve Your Marriage:
Schedule Time for Each Other –In the midst of a hurried and mobile society it may seem like an exaggeration to schedule time for your marriage, but consider it for a moment. Many of us are so highly involved in our careers, our children’s school, church activities, coaching sports teams, working out, running and reading we might not have time for our marriages. Well, it is time to make time. Schedule a date night with your spouse or even some time to grab a cup of coffee. Make Time!
Pray for Each Other – You might already do this, but evaluate your prayer life. Stop praying about how God should change your spouse for your benefit and pray that God will change you both for His benefit! Do not pray about your spouse, pray for your spouse.
Stop Using the Word “I” – Try an experiment, when you are discussing your marriage, stop using the word “I.” (You may only use the word “I” when you are describing the mistake or fault you have.) Instead of “I” use the word “we”.” This simple change creates an encouragement and unity to build your marriage. Be sure when you use the word, “we” you are actually taking action together.
Have a Devotional Together – A devotional does not have to be a theological discussion of the variants of the Greek text; it may be a time where you read a passage and discuss what it means in your relationship. I have listed some marriage devotional books below. Give them a try and see how you can grow.
As I give these tips, I leave out the things I take for granted:
Telling your spouse you love them
Hugging and kissing your spouse
Going to worship with your spouse
and many more.
I give these tips in addition to what you do as a couple. Finding time and using that time to grow closer together is a quality many couples talk about, but they are only done when the bottom begins to fall out. Commit today to strengthen your marriage!
Here are some of my favorite books on marriage, outside of the Bible of course.
The future of our young people is bright. Despite what is in the news and in various media outlets, the future of our children is bright. Over our young people’s lifetime, they have seen advances in the field of medicine, technology, and industry quicker than any other generation.
The advances are happening quickly and major events are being planned and funded. In the middle part of last century, a man walked on the moon and plans are being made through the private industry to land a manned spacecraft on Mars. The future is excellent.
However, just because advances are being made, does not mean one should forget about the basics. While one can carry 20 different Bible versions on their phones, are they being used? Each advance can be a wonderful blessing, if they are being used properly.
What does the Bible say about teaching young people?
Are young people taught to love their families? (Titus 2.4)
Are young people taught to be self-controlled? (Titus 2.5)
Are young people taught to be kind? (Titus 2.5)
Are young people taught respect? (Titus 2.7)
There is more listed in Titus 2 worth reading and being reminded of every day.
As advances through the world are taking place, are young people still mindful of the basics? Is part of their education the basics?
Are young people being educated in the blessings of God?
It is raining, but the rain should never trouble us, but we should realize it is a blessing. Rain should not make us frown, but allow us to smile. Consider this picture and quote I say on the Law of Attractions Instagram.
5 Things I Learned Last Week
1 – People need to be loved. When I reflect on the love of Christ, His love is overwhelming. Each of us needs to see people like Jesus saw people. Remember, Matthew 9.36 – “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” We need to see the world like Jesus.
2 – Some of the greatest preachers I know are not the most well-known. Across our brotherhood, there are well-known preachers who speak on every lectureship, youth event, etc. but some of the greatest I know are those no one really knows. Their hearts are wide-open and they work tirelessly for the gospel of Christ.
3 – Remember whose you are. Too many adults, not just young people, are faced the pressure to be someone they are not. This pressure lends itself to experiment with ways which are contrary to who we are as a being created by God. It is important to remember, not just who, but whose you are. You are created for a purpose, enjoy it.
4 – Family is Urgent! Sooner or later, most people learn a valuable lesson about family. However, not everyone will learn the lesson of the urgency of family. Many children will grow up to live the life of the words to “Cat’s in the Cradle” because of the actions they see in their parents. Christians need to make their family an urgent priority. Do not let your family slide, put them to the top.
5 – Sometimes it is better not to say anything at all. With that, I will leave this here.
So, what did you learn this week?
#MondayMotivation
Each person needs a little bit of motivation every now and then to get through the day, the week, the month or even the year. So, here is your quick video to give you a quick laugh and some motivation today.
You must admit, social media has taken the world by storm. Its presence in the lives of people across the globe is growing every day and businesses have grown and shrunk due to social media engagements. Considering the growth of social media and its future, what does the Bible say about social media?
Today, you can have a conversation with someone across the globe in a matter of moments. A few months ago, I had conversations with people in at least 12 different states, China, Japan, Sweden, England and a few other countries in just one day. We do live in an amazing world. It was not too long ago communication for many was a phone call or a letter. Today, communication occurs through our mobile phones, desktop computers, laptops, tablets and even the watch you may wear. Our availability of communication has increased, but has our communication?
So, what does the Bible say about social media?
First, the Bible does not specifically discuss social media, but its words were written long before the age of the internet. However, people were social and interacted with each other. They interacted in the marketplace, the synagogue, the temple and in their homes. Their relationships were personal and tangible.
Second, consider a few verses from the Bible when you post:
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16.24)
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” (Proverbs 13.3.)
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15.4)
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.” (Proverbs 11.12)
“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” (Proverbs 26.4)
Other Considerations:
Remember who and whose you are
Remind yourself that you are a light that shines
Write the post then reflect on it before posting it
Remember, social media is not the greatest thing ever. Jesus is.
Are you struggling with an idea for a Sunday morning? Maybe you need a short outline to help in your personal study? If so, here is a short outline that you can use to develop your thoughts for an outline. You might divide this outline up by using each point for a separate outline.
How many times have you heard Hebrews 10.25?
“…not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25)
Many people focus on Hebrews 10.25 as the reason for church attendance, but I believe the reason occurs before verse 25. There is a deeper meaning than using this verse to speak of attendance on Sundays or Wednesdays. For instance, consider the points below:
Understand that attendance is more than numbers; it is about faithfulness and open hearts.
Hebrews 10.25 is only half of a sentence; there is more.
If you find half a sentence, read the verses before to complete the thought.
Hebrews 10.22 – “let us draw near…”
(Take note that Hebrews 10.22 is only half of a sentence; read the verses before to gain the full thought.)
…with a true heart.
…with our hearts sprinkled clean.
…with our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10.23 –“ let us hold fast the confession of our hope…”
…without wavering (the reason: “He who promised is faithful.”)
Who is the one who made the promise?
What is the promise?
Hebrews 10.24 – “let us consider how to stir up one another…”
…to love.
…to good works.
Why are we to stir up one another to love and good works? (The reason is verse 25)
After these verses, verse 25 brings on a new meaning. There is a unity factor before the Hebrews writer gets to the “attendance verse.” The unity is in the knowledge that Christians need each other because of the reasons given in verse 22-24. The fact that someone misses services could be for a variety of reasons; work, sickness, a death in the family, traveling, depression, or a personal choice not to attend services. We need to give our brethren benefit that they are trying and not completely stopping.
Attendance is more than numbers. When a church begins to focus on numbers instead of caring for souls, they lose the good news. The good news becomes the number of people instead of the number of open hearts.
I hope you can use today’s sermon starter outline at some point. Also, do not use the sermon starter outlines to replace your own study and work. Use them as a stepping stone for development.
All of us want the best for our families; both spiritually and physically. Our families are, typically, the closest people to us on the Earth and the love us despite our faults. Because of our relationship, we want the best for our families and, many times, we will go out of our way to help them in whatever accomplishment they seek.
The rewards of Christian families are great because those rewards transcend beyond this physical world and will last throughout eternity. Are you helping your family achieve heaven?
Reward #1 – Togetherness
The adage is, “A family that works together stay together.” The key word is together. One characteristic of Christian families is how they work together. The togetherness of families results in unity.
This unity is seen in several ways:
Unity in Effort – Consider 2 Timothy 1.5. Lois and Eunice made a united effort to teach Timothy the gospel but instill in him a genuine faith.
Unity of Goal – Consider Philippians 3.14. A Christian’s goal is heaven and when Christians unite in their goal of heaven, the keep pressing on to gain it.
Unity of Purpose – Consider 1 Samuel 1-2.21. Hannah had a purpose and she gave Samuel that same purpose – dedication to the Lord.
Unity of Servanthood – Consider Acts 16.34. The Philippians jailer served Paul and Silas after the startling events and his families believed God.
